Five Weirdest Search Queries of 2011

It’s been another year of posting opinions for all the Interwebs to see, and another year of Analytics ticking away quietly in the background logging all sorts of data about the site.

Now and then, that data is truly hilarious.

Here, in no particular order, are

Five bizarre search queries that led people to my site

• blood splatter from a shotgun blast to the face

• rivers of poop 

Okay, now I had a lot of poop queries this year. Some of them were pretty bizarre, a lot involved fetishes, but this one takes the cake… because it had a  0% bounce rate. Somebody found what they came looking for.

• sex anima lavik life vedio

You know…learning there are nude photos out there of someone with the same last name still doesn’t top learning that this site is a better match for those keywords.

• dear god this migraine fucking sucks

I hope you feel better now.

• not all stories end with the characters living “happily ever after.” consider the importance of a happy ending in a work of literature. is it necessary for the story to be satisfying? explain your opinion using specific examples from the texts you have read in this unit and elsewhere.

Okay, this is my favourite. Not only is this a blatant test question copy-pasted into a search engine, but this query brought multiple hits to my site, including some with variations on phrasing. Someone tried so hard to avoid doing their English work.

Do you track your search results? I’d love to hear the most bizarre things that brought someone to your site!